Colin Casbolt The Bard

Colin Casbolt - "The Bard"

When you live in Ibiza you get one every couple of days. Straight off the beach - Bless him, pint of Fosters, wiping his brow and dying for a chat with anyone except his missus. We love them dearly in the Summer and feel so sad that so many people here are so cynical and rude to people who work fifty weeks of the year to enjoy their two weeks in the sun, to be exploited by all they meet. This poem's not cynical or hurtful 'cos we do have fun with our occasional visitors who come here with an open attitude and a friendly holiday smile.

My latest Tourist Friend
He came up to me like a lump of red meat
As red as a beet root from his head to his feet
He said that he'd had a right lovely day
He'd had a drink, a swim and a play
Where' you from, from here?
How interesting!
Have you been here long - 20 years
Do you like it?

He asked me what I find to do all day
Don't you get fed up with 20 years of silly play?
And all those nights of girls and drugs
It was never like this for us poor mugs
Wow, you're so lucky
How'd you get here? I think I'll stay

I said it's true, it's all drugs and pops
And then in the winter the island stops
We don't have time for a family life
For loving care for our kids or wife
He said it's different at home
Terrible. Bloody Tories. Bloody Blair
The tax man getting in your hair
It's just not right or bloody fair.