The Bunch of Grapes
This is a cosy English bar (unsurprisingly), within the predominantly English Wild Asparagus development. It has a large outside terrace overlooking the 'postcard bay'. Through the Winter the terrace is partly covered to keep the wind out - and full of diners. The food is good traditional fare and people travel long distances for the Sunday lunch. On the night of our last visit, most of the others in attendance were in fancy-dress. An evening shared with ghosts, ghouls and vicars (the sort with a fag in one hand and a pint in the other..).
On the left as you turn the corner at the bottom of the hill and next door to the Medical Centre. A big bar busy with locals in the winter, as almost everywhere else is shut! An outside terrace is served from an occasional BBQ during the summer.
At the bottom of the hill as you turn right it's on your right and very much a summertime phenomenon, it consists of a large terrace opposite Toni's with a bar as large as your average potting shed serving the assembled terrace tables.
The Blues Bar
Opposite Bar Toni but on the other side of the road and a little further down, this little bar is open and full. There may not be many people in Cala Llonga in early February, but this is where they all are at the weekend. An open log fire in the corner completes that English feel whilst opposite on the back wall is a picture of the Blues Brothers, from which the inspiration for the name must have come. The music is not hot off the decks, or even 'blues', but nobody seems to care. At this time of year in Cala Llonga it's best not to complain. If you get chucked out there's nowhere else to go?
This a popular meeting place for the local residents as is stays open all year round. The staff are dead friendly and have built up a regular clientele.
This bar cum 'entertainment option' is behind Cafeteria Madisson up a turning to the left and set high above the road. Currently it specialises in family entertainment of the sort that you might find in many of the island's hotels of a summer evening. This is unsurprising as the owners are also agents for many of the entertainers on the island.
Up 'n Inn
Back on the main road heading down towards the beach this huge bar is on your left. It has a front terrace overlooking the summer funfair and a pool at the back full of screaming kids - so everybody must be having a good time?
If you take the next left turning which leads down to the town's roundabout fountain A walkway to the left from the roundabout takes you back uphill to the main road from here houses the following:-
Next door to the Valentino Pizzeria and sharing a similar view, this bar appears to specialise in sangria?
Is on the corner of the next crossroads as you approach the beach straight on down the main road. It has a big terrace which wraps around the corner with pool tables and a a back garden
On the opposite corner is quite big, but in a finca sort of way - despite being very friendly to the Brits.
Uncle Bob's English Bar
A decidedly British bar amongst a myriad of others, run by people of other nationalities, pandering to the almost exclusively British tourists in the village. The UK Independence Party would make their headquarters here if they weren't so opposed to the concept of 'other places'?
A little Spanish bar next door at which the local Spanish take their early morning coffees and do most of the community business before setting off to deal with the tourists who haven't got up yet.
Raffles Video Pub
Well with a name like that what do you expect? It´s a pub and there are videos - unfortunately the DVD revolution has made the name a little sad?
This is around the next two corners, which are taken over by the Dona Regina & Restaurante SOS. In fact during the daytime it's completely obscured by lilos, other souvenirs and beach paraphanelia. Apparently it comes to life after midnight , which we generally don't - for anything less than a good club night.
If you aren't heading away from the beach, but in fact going there for some strange reason - like swimming or keeping the kids happy you will notice what appears to be a toilet block on the other side of the playground.
Mayfair Bar (No we haven't got it wrong - a village the size of Calla Llonga has plenty of room for two bars with the same name?)
It's right on the beach smack bang in the middle and since it's not going to rain, you can all sit outside with the sand between your toes.
Is at the far ennd of the beach, so you're ready for a beer by the time you've walked there. The music's pretty good, but not as good as the view if you're in a contemplative mood (having just walked all around Cala Llonga on your day off taking notes and eradicating erroneous information?). This despite the Spanish barman attempting to sing along to English lyrics, and not realising when the adverts come on in between... I suppose you'd call it making the effort?
If you venture down to the water's edge from Hollywood towards the concrete monstrosity that prevents you from pursuing the coastline path any further, you may be tempted by the -
Café Bar El Pinar
It looks to all intents and purposes like part of the ugly hotel to which it is attached, but what the hell - if you can drag a few punters in because they don't fancy the walk of over 100 metres to the nearest alternative - why not?
Leaving Cala Llonga another left turn towards Ibiza takes you past:-
Casa Piedra See top for Details
Continuing on you will pass the most expensive (and only) golf course on the island which manages to look green in Febfruary. This is the only time when there is enough rain to support a golf course.
Passing Roca Llisa and climbing the hill, the views back to Santa Eulalia are spectacular. Descending from the brow of the hill down towards Ibiza town, you pass a huge quarry where half a mountain used to be. They've finally managed to stop any further extension of this zit on the landscape, but what's left remains as a monument to our ability to destroy even whole mountains...
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